


tonight the light of love is in your eyes (will you still love me tomorrow?)

by Bananasplit86, Chocabel



Series: The Puppy Squad Evolution [6]
Category: Football RPF
Genre: Developing Relationship, M/M, Memories, Past Relationship(s), Polyamory, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-09
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-04-03 15:09:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4105416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bananasplit86/pseuds/Bananasplit86, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chocabel/pseuds/Chocabel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik & Julian take some time alone whilst Matze sleeps off the effects of his first time.<br/>In the morning, Matze is curious about where Erik & Julian gained their experience with men....</p><p>Which throws up some interesting memories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tonight the light of love is in your eyes (will you still love me tomorrow?)

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly: Massive apologies for the delay between parts.  
> I've been throwing ideas back and forth with Chocabel for a while and we've been planning way in advance of just this part, so hopefully the next parts won't take quite as long.
> 
> Secondly: As you will notice, Chocabel has co-authored this and will be co-author of any future parts of this series. I cannot thank her enough for all her help on this part and in the planning stages of the future parts. You've been amazing and a great help, not to mention a pretty rad writer. (Not as smushy as I thought it would be XD) Seriously, this would not be half as good if it weren't for you :-*
> 
> Thirdly: We both really hope that you like this as much as we loved writing it. This series has gone from being something written on a one off to being pretty much my/our baby and I/we need to thank you all for reading it, commenting on it and just leaving kudos. When I started writing this, I had no idea that so many of you would like it quite as much as you have, especially as the pairing/trio/.... isn't exactly the most written about in this fandom. So **THANK YOU**. 
> 
> Right: key is here that the large _italic section_ is a flashback.  
>  This whole chapter is very important for the progression of the series and we sincerely hope that you like where this is going.  
> If you don't, I'm sorry, but either way, do let us know.
> 
> Ok, enough, onto the story....

Erik scooted back from Julian, one hand still wrapped in Julian’s, the other squeezing his hip gently, and tugged him backwards, tearing both their eyes away from Matze. Matze who had somehow mastered the true art of falling asleep almost instantly.

Erik suppressed a giggle, trying to let the youngest man sleep, remembering all too well the feeling of overwhelming tiredness that swept his body after his first time and he pulled Julian off the bed and out of the room.

They stumbled into the lounge, hands wrapping around each other, stroking over the bare skin and pressing soft kisses against the other. Erik hummed quietly as Julian pulled him close, chests sliding and hips knocking, driving their erections together with a groan and Erik kissed him.

It was soft and gentle, lips brushing as a hand wound to Julian’s nape, fingers tangling into the soft hairs as he kept Julian in place, tongue brushing over his lip slowly, slipping inside once Julian had parted, allowing Erik all the control he wanted. 

Julian tasted of all the things that Erik wanted, all the things he needed and the moan that slipped out was full of need and want as he tasted the beer he’d drunk with dinner and the faint taste of lip balm slipped into his mouth. 

When they parted Erik was dizzy, his mind foggy with the arousal pooling low in his abdomen, and he laughed as Julian’s calves connected with the sofa, dragging Erik down with him in an ungainly heap, their bodies sliding and pressing in a feeling that Erik wanted to bottle up and use when he needed the Schalker but he wasn’t there. 

Julian was laughing quietly, his lips shining in the dim light that streamed through the blinds from the oblivious world outside the window and Erik sat up, head cocked to the side as Julian shifted beneath him, laying his back across the cushions, head propped on the arm of the sofa.

Erik smiled as Julian stared up at him from his position on the sofa. The sight of him there; open, skin flushed and lips wet and swollen from their kiss; was breath-taking. He swept a hand over the bare chest and moved to straddle him carefully, pressing his thighs tightly around Julian’s and moaning softly as their cocks brushed together as Erik leaned forwards to press a gentle kiss to Julian’s chest.

“You’re perfect Jule.” He muttered, trailing his lips up to mouth over his collarbone, before sweeping up over his throat and latching over the pulse point.

Julian whimpered as the lips pressed around him, sucking at the skin softly and Erik felt the hands running over his back, nails dragging slightly on the sweat-damp skin. He rolled his hips slowly against Julian, letting the younger man whine and moan beneath him as he tortured him and broke away from his skin with a smile, looking up so that he could see his eyes as he moved.

For the most part, they’d not been face to face when they’d had sex, and Erik was determined that he would look Julian in the eyes when he eventually took him for the first time.

He smiled softly and cupped Julian’s cheek as he bent down over him and kissed him, letting his lips slide across Julian’s slowly, pressing feather-light touches over the soft skin to tease. Julian whined as Erik pulled back slightly and pressed a hand to his chest, smiling before moving back to capture him in a deeper kiss, sucking Julian’s bottom lip between his own lightly and teasing it with his tongue. Julian pulled him closer, pressing their chests together and parted his lips. Erik took advantage and slipped his tongue inside, gently brushing over Julian’s as they kissed, slow and lazy, just taking the time to taste each other.

Erik moaned softly as Julian wrapped his arms around him and let his hands caress over his back slowly, fingers sliding over the skin carefully as they parted, foreheads resting together easily and eyes locking as they breathed in unison.

“I love you Erik.” Julian murmured softly, brushing their noses together.

Erik smiled and blinked slowly, brushing their lips together again briefly before shifting his weight to press a trail of short fluttering kisses down Julian’s throat, the younger man moaning softly beneath him and writhing slightly as Erik found the pulse point again. 

Erik took his time, sucking and nibbling on the skin softly, letting out tiny noises as Julian began to wriggle beneath him, hands running over his back, caressing down Erik's spine as the defender worked over his throat to his collarbone and chest. 

Erik was, in all senses, worshipping Julian; kissing, licking and biting at every patch of skin he could reach from his position; hands grazing over the bare skin slowly as he moved. Erik hummed softly as Julian wound his hands into his hair, fingers carding through and rubbing small circles whilst Erik inched his way down his chest.

He pressed soft kisses into every ridge of muscle he could find, hands now pressing into Julian’s thighs to keep him in place as he writhed against the sofa, desperate for more contact, and Erik moved from hip to hip, sucking and biting softly at each to leave tiny red hickeys, marking Julian with a smile as the younger man tugged at his hair.

“More?” Erik asked, glancing up at Julian through his eyelashes.

Julian nodded, eyes glazing over slightly as Erik brushed his lips over his navel, following the pale line of hairs down to where his cock was resting against his stomach. 

“You sure?”

“Please Erik.”

Erik licked his lips and began to mouth down the shaft, pressing open mouthed kisses along the hard length, a hiss and a groan falling from Julian’s lips as he reached the base and gently sucked over his balls. Julian was tugging his hair and then soothing at his scalp, alternating between what he wanted from Erik and Erik couldn’t suppress the moan that slipped from him as he licked back up the length to the tip, eyes fixed on the beautiful face above him.

Julian’s eyes were falling closed as he gazed down at Erik, lips parted and wet, chest heaving and Erik wanted to burn the image into his memory and never forget what Julian looked like in that moment.

The gasp that he let out when Erik finally took him in was mesmerising and the weight of him on his tongue was heaven. The way his hips rocked slightly, desperately trying to seek more from him, and the clench of his hands in Erik's hair was all Erik needed to know that he wanted it, more than he could possibly voice. 

He blindly reached down to scrabble around for the lube he'd snatched up and smiled around the thickness between his lips as his fingers closed around it. He sucked and licked slowly, pulling back only when he felt the fingers clutch and tighten on his head, tugging almost unbearably.

He sat up, hand soothing down Julian's thigh, kneading softly as their eyes locked, words passing unspoken as the bottle was opened and a slick finger pressing around the rim. Julian's eyes widened slightly as Erik pushed in slowly, carefully, and Erik leaned in to kiss him, legs curling up to accept Erik between them as their lips moved as lazily as the finger pressed deep inside. 

"How long Jule?" Erik whispered, lips brushing over his cheek as he eased a second finger in.

"Too long." Was the answer, barely above a breathless moan as Erik stretched him slowly, stroking and twisting within him.

Erik allowed himself to snatch one final kiss and settled back between the parted thighs, nudging Julian's legs wider and higher as the third finger slipped into the tight heat, easing him open. The low moans and soft whines that slipped from Julian's lips were like a drug to Erik and he wanted to pull more from him.

He let his fingers drift over him, a gasp and a pitch of hips rolling from Julian and he smiled, his own body as eager to feel Julian pressed tightly around him as Julian was to have Erik coiled deep inside him. He slid his fingers out slowly, lips latching over his navel again, distracting Julian while he rolled a condom over his aching length, slicking himself slowly.

Julian whimpered and keened low in his throat as Erik nudged inside, his hands sliding along the sweat -slick skin of Erik's thighs. Erik eased himself closer and deeper, hands hooking under Julian's legs as he moved, bending the midfielder back into himself, lips finding Julian's as he stilled.

The feel of Julian was dizzying, the sensation of him on his lips and clenching tight around him was everything and his world shrank to just them. He wasn't sure when he began to move but he could feel Julian yielding beneath him, fingernails digging into Erik's skin as he rocked against him, filling him over and over.

His breath was coming in short pants as they moved together, skin sliding and slipping, lips working and tasting as Julian gave himself fully to Erik. 

Erik let Julian's legs fall and felt them hook around his waist as he cupped Julian's cheek, foreheads resting together and breath puffing out over the other hotly.

"I love you Jule." He mumbled as Julian twitched beneath him, heels digging into his ass as he thrust shallow and slow, drawing the moment out for as long as possible. "So much." 

Julian whined and stretched up to kiss him again, hands sliding around to grip at Erik's shoulder blades, pulling him down tighter, his dick rubbing between their bodies. The angle and tightness settled a haze around Erik, hips stuttering into Julian as his orgasm built, pooling in his stomach, heavy and needy.

"Harder Erik, please." Julian muttered, kiss breaking and head rolling back, opening his throat to Erik.

His hips snapped and his lips latched onto the soft skin, whining as his own movements sent him over the edge, orgasm flooding through him as he sucked harder, pulling Julian with him, untouched, and coming between them wetly.

Julian heaved against him as Erik pulled back, lips wet and raw, and the smile that lit his face was breath-taking, everything Erik thought he needed. Erik returned the smile and collapsed forward, burying his face into the crook of his neck as Julian's legs wrapped around him tighter, keeping him pressed deep inside. 

-

"Jule, we should go to bed." Erik mumbled after a while, his body aching and stiffening as he lay cocooned within Julian.

"Can't we stay like this?" 

"No, we can't let Matze wake up alone. He needs us. _We_ need him." He sat up slowly, hands pressing into Julian's chest to steady his shaking body. "Come on."

He eased back, unfolding Julian's legs from his waist and pulled out carefully, tying the condom and padding to the kitchen trash quickly. When he returned Julian was still lying there, a hand folded across his chest, the other behind his head and a lazy smile on his lips.

"Come on you." He held out a hand to him and tugged him up slowly as he took his hand. "Let's get you cleaned up and in bed."

**

Erik woke with a start, his body shaking with a cold sweat. He opened his eyes slowly and frowned, Julian had managed to throw the duvet to the side, covering Matze completely and the youngest man was smiling in his sleep, clearly content to snuggle with the full duvet wrapped around himself.

“Are you kidding me?” He grumbled, reaching over Julian to grab at the cover and pull it over them.

“Don’t.” Julian groaned, hand darting out to catch Erik’s wrist. “I’m too hot. Again.”

“Well, I’m cold. Can we switch places then? That way, I’ll get the cover and can be warm and you can be all hot and sweaty without it.”

“You are definitely a grumpy morning person.” Julian laughed and rolled over so that he covered Erik’s body with his, kissing him softly. 

“We can’t all be sunshine and light like you every second of the day.” Erik was smiling now too, eyes half closed against the morning light. “What time do you have to leave for training?”

“10.30am, so a few hours yet. You two?”

Erik glanced at the clock and groaned, realising that he and Matze would have to leave in a little over 3 hours to get back to Dortmund for their session at 11am. “We need to leave at 10am. Ugh.” 

Julian huffed, lips pressing softly over Erik’s jaw, working round to just below his ear and sucking lightly. Erik squirmed under the assault and tugged on Julian’s hair, tilting his head away from his skin and kissing him roughly. 

“No visible marks please babe.” He mumbled when he pulled away. 

“Ugh, fine. I’m gonna go shower, I feel a little icky.” Julian grinned, his tone light as he gestured to the dry stains of his orgasm coating his skin.

Erik smiled and petted at his cheek, brushing his fingertips over the soft, rosy skin and then playfully shoved him to the side, shifting over to curl next to Matze, wrapping the cover over himself.

He heard Julian slip from the room and hummed contently, letting his body mould around Matze’s, an arm falling across the strong waist and his face pressing into his shoulder, lips gently grazing over the warm skin.

He heard Matze moan slightly and shift next to him as a hand pressed against his, tangling their fingers together gently.

“Are you ok?” He whispered, aware that Matze was awake by the rise and fall of his chest.

“More than ok.” Came the quiet reply, fingers tightening to squeeze slightly. “You were right. It was amazing.”

Erik glanced up at him and saw the blush spreading across his cheeks as he spoke, the memories clearly flooding back to him. Erik sat up slowly, pushing the covers back to Matze's hips and propped himself onto his elbow, gazing down at the pink cheeks and bright eyes that were returning the gaze.

“You should shower as well. You’re a bit messy too.” He mused, flicking his eyes to the drops of dried cum that were dotted across his stomach and thighs.

Matze followed his gaze and laughed, the sound making Erik smile warmly and giving him an overwhelming desire to kiss the young defender. He gave in and Matze yielded, lips soft and plaint beneath his own as a hand cupped his neck softly, fingers brushing over the skin drawing goose bumps onto it.

"Go, if you're lucky Jule will be still in there." Erik smirked with a wink

Matze bit his lip and Erik could see that he was trying, and failing, to stop a smile spreading across his face at that thought and he patted Matze's chest, urging him to go with his own smile and a final peck of his lips. Matze's entire face broke into a grin and he shoved the duvet all the way off, letting it pool at Erik's feet as he crawled out of the bed and all but ran into the bathroom.

Erik lay back down and folded his hands behind his head as he heard a yelp and then a shriek from the bathroom, a small chuckle falling from his lips as he closed his eyes. He thought about all the things that had happened in the few months since this had all started; the first kisses, Matze's first everything with them, late night phone calls when they couldn't sleep, watching more Schalke matches than he'd ever watched in his life and then last night, the first time Julian had given himself to him; and he sighed happily, finally feeling like he was almost content with his life and those in it.

Sometime during his thoughts he'd fallen back to sleep, roused only when Matze pressed a flurry of kisses across his face, lingering slightly at the corner of his lips as Erik's eyes flickered open slowly.

"Ok, ok, I'm awake." Erik groaned, swatting at Matze.

"Come on, Jule is making breakfast." Matze laughed, straddling Erik over the duvet, knees digging into Erik's sides.

"Alright, I'm getting up, get off me." 

Matze kissed him again, humming against his lips and then clambered off him, wandering out of the bedroom without a backwards glance. Erik sat up slowly and pushed his hair off his face as he stretched out his legs, wiggling his toes slowly as he tried to suppress a yawn. He decided on a quick shower and dressed quickly into his training kit after he'd finished, heading out in the direction of the coffee smell.

**

Julian's porridge went down a treat, as did the lashings of toast, each of them preparing for whatever the day's training would throw at them and Erik leaned back in his chair as he sipped the remnants of his coffee. He could see that Matze was musing over something, a question playing on his lips but not breaching and he looked at him expectantly, frowning when he decided to focus on the grain of the table instead, fingers following the pattern as it twisted away from him.

"What's on your mind?" The question was from Julian and Erik looked at him, seeing that he'd spotted the look too. "Matze?"

"I was just wondering about something." He was quiet and, Erik could see, embarrassed. 

"About what?" Julian's voice was soft and it put even Erik as ease.

"You."

"What about us?"

The blush thickened on his cheeks, colouring his face entirely. "Your firsts." His voice was slightly stuttering and quiet. "The first time you had sex with a man. Like who was it, what happened? I mean, you know about mine."

"Oh." Was all Julian said, but Erik could see that he seemed relaxed and almost happy to talk about it. "Why?"

"I'm just curious how you knew. That you were into guys, I mean. And what your first time was like." 

Julian smiled. "Well, I've known since I was a teenager. It was obvious to me that I didn't like girls. I can remember the first time I kissed a girl. I was 11 I think, and I wanted to be sick afterwards, she was too soft, too sweet. The first time I kissed a boy I was 14. He was my best friend and we were just messing around, but it felt so different and so right for me. So, I knew from then that I didn't want a girlfriend, I only wanted a boyfriend."

Matze was nodding, listening to Julian carefully, his elbows on the table and chin resting in his hands. Erik smiled at the look of concentration on his face and turned to Julian, himself keen to hear about his experiences, see how they differed from his own.

Julian continued. "I had a few boyfriends but things never went further than dry humping and hand jobs until I was 16. Then I discovered blow jobs. That first one from Thom was sloppy as hell and wet but my god, it felt amazing. Thom was my first as well. That first time wasn’t particularly pleasurable because neither of us was really sure what we were doing. He didn’t prep me enough and I remember the burning more than the pleasure. It was over so quick as well. I liked it, don’t get me wrong, but knowing what I know now, it could have been so much better. I wish that my first time had been like yours, but that’s what inexperience does for you I guess, too eager to get to the doing, skipping over the how.”

“What about after? Did you do it to him too?”

“Thom? Yes, we experimented a bit and it became obvious that he liked being the bottom and I realised that I was more suited to topping with him. I’ve bottomed a bit since then but I don’t find it quite as good as that feeling of tightness around you.”

“Not ev-” Erik was speaking, cut off by Julian with a tender look.

“With you, it’s different. I love you, so it feels different, I can’t really explain it and even if I tried it’d be cliché after cliché. If you wanted me to Erik, I’d bottom for you all the time, but I know that you like being fucked.”

Erik raised an eyebrow at the term and smiled. He could see in Julian’s face that he was telling the truth. Erik knew that Julian preferred to top, it was in his personality but what happened last night had shown Julian that taking it could be just as good, could leave him a whimpering mess, begging to be taken apart. Erik bit his lip as the image of Julian from last night flooded his vision, so vulnerable and open, whispering his name and clawing at his skin as he came hard between them. 

Erik also knew bits of Julian’s past, knew about one or two of his past boyfriends, his fooling around at school but to hear him say it so frankly and openly made him wonder what he should say when Matze inevitably turned to him.

“What about you Erik? Did you always know?” Matze was looking at him, coffee mug pulled to his lips, but Erik could see the hopeful smile.

“No, I suspected, but I spent my time fooling around with girls as a teenager. I mean I kissed a few boys when I was younger, but I realised a lot later on that I preferred guys, I guess fairly recently compared to Jule.”

Erik looked away from Matze, eyes sweeping across to Julian and he took in the cocked head and curious smile. He glanced back to Matze and could see him looking at him expectantly, and Erik’s mind wandered back to his first time. He could feel the soft slide of skin on skin, and hear the soft moans echoing in his ears, he could still remember every little detail about that night clearly…

~

_They don't spend Jonas' last evening in Dortmund with a big party. Instead, they are sitting on Erik's balcony. The chairs have been ditched in favour of a big fatboy and both of them sit next to each other with their backs against the wall. A fair number of empty beer bottles are arranged more or less decoratively around them._

_Erik enjoys their comfortable silence and the pleasant low buzz in his head, telling him he's not exactly sober anymore. He isn't drunk either, rather in that light mood where worries are far away and honesty comes easy._

_He gazes at the dark but star-lit sky before he turns and looks at Jonas. “I can't believe you'll be gone tomorrow“. Jonas doesn't look at him but he can see that the smile grazing Jonas' lips is sad._

_“I wish I weren't.” Jonas finally admits and his voice is too quiet for Erik's liking._

_He reaches out, searching for Jonas' hand lying between them and when he has found it, he links their fingers together, thumb gently stroking over Jonas' skin. “You'll be back next season” he tries, and the admittedly weak attempt to console his friend sounds lame even to his own ears._

_Maybe that is why Jonas doesn't answer at first. “I'll miss you,” he finally admits when he turns his head to look at Erik and Erik smiles._

_“I'll miss you, too. You're my best friend.” Something flickers over Jonas' face, too quick for Erik to catch it before he answers._

_“And I'll stay that.” Jonas says as Erik raises his beer and when their bottles clink he toasts to friendship._

_“To friendship.” Erik replies._

_They fall silent again but their fingers remain interlaced and this time, it is Jonas who draws idle patterns on Erik's skin. Erik closes his eyes and enjoys the gentle touches. Images flash in his mind, of not so gentle touches and muffled moans and Jonas' hand palming him through his jeans on the balcony of Mitch's party, swallowing his moans in an almost violent kiss. Of Jonas' lips stretched around his cock in his own living room after a night out clubbing with a head spinning of too much alcohol and the intoxicating feeling of heat and suction. Things they never talked about._

_When he opens his eyes again, he can feel that his cheeks have flushed and, judging from the way Jonas looks at him, he sees that, too. For a second, they just stare at each other, before Jonas scoots closer to him and brings their lips together._

_It's the first time they kiss without being really drunk and Erik is a little hesitant at first, almost shyly testing the feel of Jonas' warm, dry lips against his own. Jonas patiently waits for him to come round, gently sucking Erik's full lower lip into his mouth, encouraging him to return the kiss._

_When Erik does, he tastes beer mixed with faint traces of the lasagne they had earlier. Jonas' slight stubble scratches over his skin and when the tips of their tongues meet for the first time this evening, the low gasp escaping Jonas sets Erik's body on fire._

_He deepens the kiss but their angle is suboptimal and it's just not enough. Erik breaks the kiss and tries to crawl over to Jonas. He swears at the yielding material of the fatboy until he finally straddles Jonas, not hesitating to reclaim his lips, eagerly licking into his mouth._

_Some still functioning part of his brain tells him to be very happy that they are sitting on the floor of the bloody balcony instead of upright on full display but Erik isn't sure he would have cared anyway. The only thing he cares about right now is Jonas, his lips, his body and the hot need pooling in his belly._

_He plunders Jonas' mouth with the greed of a starving man and rocks his hips forward, searching for friction. Jonas gives as good as he gets, squirming below Erik's body. He only breaks the kiss when he gasps for breath, leaning his head back against the wall. The moan leaving his lips is the hottest sound Erik has ever heard._

_They look at each other in silence, panting, before both scramble to their feet simultaneously, almost stumbling over each other in their haste to get inside. Erik slams the balcony door shut behind them and pins Jonas against the next wall, reclaiming his mouth in a clash of lips and teeth._

_He isn't sure what happened but somewhere inside him a fucking dam broke. He's in a frenzy and he knows that, while he claws at Jonas' clothes but it's like an avalanche, trapping him in an ever-accelerating vortex of burning need and desire and Erik is not sure he could stop even if he wanted to._

_He is still trying to clear his head when Jonas suddenly reverses their position, pressing Erik with his back against the wall. He drops to his knees, pulling Erik's pants down over his hips with him. Jonas doesn't hesitate, simply takes him into his mouth sucking him hard and fast. Erik's head hits the wall with a loud thump and his hands fly to Jonas' hair, searching for something to hold on._

_His fingers grip the short dark strands, shaking with the effort of not pulling him closer because...this is just not enough. He needs more, needs Jonas, needs everything of him so badly, wants Jonas inside of himself – and it's only when the warm, wet feeling around his cock disappears that he realizes he begged aloud. Jonas stares up at him from below, eyes round and unbelieving._

_Erik returns his gaze before he sinks down onto his knees, facing Jonas who still stares at him. Erik gently cups Jonas' cheeks, traces the lines on his face before he presses a light kiss to his friend's lips. Suddenly he has all the time in the world. "Will you?" he asks softly and he knows he doesn't need to specify what he means._

_Jonas' throat works as he silently gulps for air, looking at Erik intently, searching in his face for whether he actually means it. Whatever he finds seems to convince him because after some small moments he gives a tiny nod. Erik lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding._

_He wiggles out of his pants and socks before pulling Jonas up with himself, guiding him from the living room to his bedroom. He doesn't switch on the light, the warm flare of the street lamp before his window enough to bathe the room in a soft glow. Erik opens a drawer of his nightstand and puts lube and condoms on the bed._

_Standing there with Jonas looking at him in silence, Erik suddenly feels shy. He has thought about finally having sex with a man a lot of times, the short, drunken happenings with Jonas arousing him to an extent that clearly showed his preference for men. Still it's a big step from thinking, dreaming about it to doing it._

_Jonas seems to sense his unease. "We can still stop here" he says._

_But Erik shakes his head determinedly. "I want to. And I trust you. I want it to be you." He pulls his shirt over his head and throws it to the floor._

_Jonas draws a sharp breath, taking one step back, eyes travelling over Erik's body and although Erik cannot see Jonas' expression clearly, his body responds to it immediately. "Oh come on, you've seen me naked before" Erik laughs and he wishes he didn't sound that nervous._

_Jonas shakes his head. "Not like this. Not naked for me, only for me." He answers quietly before closing the distance between them again._

_The seriousness in his voice startles Erik but before he can say anything, Jonas kisses him again. It's different this time, Jonas is different. The intensity and the fierceness of his kiss leave Erik breathless and his body melts against Jonas._

_Erik's hands find their way under Jonas' shirt. His fingers caress Jonas' flanks, tracing every rib and he enjoys the shudders he draws from him. When their lips separate again, both of them are panting and Erik doesn't hesitate to pull Jonas’ t-shirt over his head and discard it carelessly. He moves on to the jeans, pushing the rough material down Jonas' legs and Jonas steps out._

_Erik is on virgin soil now. There's a big difference between drunkenly groping your friend through his clothes (or being blown by him) and this, but he doesn't hesitate. He's still hard and he can see that Jonas is in the same state so he hooks his fingers under the waistband of Jonas' boxers and pulls them down as well._

_Once he is fully naked, Jonas remains standing on the spot as if he wasn't sure what Erik wanted. Erik straightens up again before he lets his fingers slide over Jonas’ cock and the clean-shaven skin. He can feel the soft tremors running through Jonas’ body and he can't help but regret that they didn't do this earlier because, suddenly, he wants to hear every little moan he can draw from his friend, wants to feel every convulsion he can coax out of him._

_His fingers curl around Jonas, probing what he likes and Jonas' head falls against Erik's shoulder. The low moan and the fingers digging into his hips make him think he is doing just fine. His lips close over Jonas' earlobe, teeth starting to nibble and Jonas' hips thrust into Erik sharply._

_Erik's lips curve into a smile but before he can tease Jonas further, his friend pushes him down on the bed, crawling over him and aligning their bodies. The first slide of naked skin on naked skin momentarily blinds Erik and his loud gasp echoes in the room._

_He feels Jonas smile against his skin and then he starts working him up in earnest. Jonas' hands travel about his skin, explore his body, his mouth kisses, licks and nibbles and all Erik can do is squirm beneath him and whimper at the explosion of need and want inside of him._

_When Jonas scoots down and warm lips close around his cock again, his whole body seizes up. "Oh god..." his voice sounds foreign to his own ears._

_"Jonas is just fine, thank you..." he can hear the smirk in his best friend's voice clearly and tries to swat at him, pushing his hips upwards at the same time because he really needs something now._

_Before he can come up with a witty reply, Jonas' lips are back to his cock but this time, a slick finger is gently stroking over his perineum and over his entrance at the same time. Erik would be embarrassed by the needy sound ripping from his throat if he could only think straight._

_Since thinking is out-ruled, all he can do is writhe and moan while Jonas takes him apart slowly. He can feel the finger entering him carefully and yes, it is an intrusion and it's unfamiliar but it's so good. He is pretty sure he's begging by now but Jonas just keeps going, seemingly unperturbed. Erik can feel him adding a second finger and beginning to scissor them slightly. The burn that comes with that makes him take a shaky breath but it's a delicious pain and the tongue swirling around the head of his cock more than offsets it._

_When Jonas has three fingers in him he hits a spot that has Erik seeing stars. His back arches and he almost chokes on his own saliva. Jonas brushes the spot again and the double stimulation almost makes Erik come instantly._

_"Jonas! Please...I can't...please..." He sobs rather than talks and just hopes that Jonas gets that he needs him now._

_Jonas does because he pulls his fingers out and crawls back up to Erik. The kiss he presses to his lips is sweet. "Turn round" he says and nudges Erik's shoulder slightly._

_Erik hesitates. "Do I have to?"_

_Jonas looks at him a bit startled. "It will be easier for you" he finally explains but Erik shakes his head._

_"I want to see your face" he admits. He knows his cheeks are flushed and he is glad that Jonas can't see that in the dim light._

_Jonas just smiles before he grabs a pillow. "Lift your hips" he says and pushes it under Erik's hips when he complies before he settles himself between Erik's thighs._

_Erik watches him as he opens one of the condoms, rolling it over himself and slicking himself up. He can't stop himself from thinking that Jonas is one of the most attractive men he's ever seen. The sharp outline of Jonas' jawline and his chiselled features make Erik want to kiss every little spot on his face._

_His thinking stops abruptly when Jonas bends over him and guides his cock between his cheeks. Erik tenses for a second because this is it but he relaxes again quickly because this was Jonas and Jonas would never hurt him. He feels Jonas' cock breaching him, slowly, gradually stretching him. He struggles to breathe constantly and he can't stop the gasps leaving his mouth. There is discomfort, yes, but beneath the slight pain, the feeling is incredible._

_Jonas' breathing is laboured when he is fully sheathed within Erik. "Don't move" he presses out, letting his forehead rest against Erik's, obviously trying to calm down. Erik suppresses a smile, a little proud of the effect he has on Jonas. He tilts his head up, capturing Jonas’ lips in a soothing kiss._

_Their tongues slide against each other unhurriedly and Erik relishes in their closeness. At some point, Jonas starts to move. It's only gentle, shallow thrusts but Erik is already overwhelmed by the intensity of the feeling, wrapping his legs around Jonas' waist to pull him even closer._

_Jonas searches and finds Erik's hands, interlacing their fingers and placing them to the left and the right of Erik's head. His weight presses Erik into the mattress. Erik can't remember that he ever felt so open and vulnerable but safe at the same time._

_Their mouths fuse, sharing each other's breath and swallowing their moans. Erik wishes he could freeze this moment forever. The sudden awareness that Jonas will be gone tomorrow almost suffocates him. His grip around Jonas' hands still holding him down gets stronger when he desperately meets Jonas' every thrust with growing urgency._

_His lips fasten on the side of Jonas' neck, sucking furiously. He knows that he most likely hurts Jonas but he needs this. Needs to leave visible proof that they did this, wants to be able to see that this is real and there is something else that drives him, something tumbling in his mind that he cannot put into words._

_He is overwhelmed by all the feelings, physically and emotionally and all he can do is chant Jonas' name again and again like a prayer. He tries to hold on, really, doesn't want it to be over already but the hot wave racing through his belly threatens to drag him under and when Jonas' hand curls around his cock and strokes him, it is just too much._

_His orgasm hits him so hard it almost hurts, the way his muscles clench and let his body convulse uncontrollably. The blood rushes in his ears and he hears his name spilling from Jonas' lips only mutely, trying desperately to suck some air into his lungs while he releases himself over Jonas' hand and their bellies._

_When the haze lifts from his eyes, Jonas has crashed on top of him. His face is in the crook of Erik's neck and Erik can feel his damp, hot and frantic breathing. Unconsciously, his arms tighten around his friend and he places soft kisses in his hair._

_They stay like that for a few minutes before Jonas raises himself up and carefully pulls out of Erik. He discards the condom and crawls back on the bed. He lies on his side and Erik doesn't have time to wonder if this changes something between them before Jonas pulls him close, not caring about the half-dry cum coating their bodies._

_Jonas' gaze locks with his own while he cups his cheeks and he looks as if he wanted to say something. Erik wants to ask but when Jonas starts kissing him again, all of his thoughts fly out the window. They fall asleep like this, curled tightly into each other._

_(When Erik wakes up the next morning, Jonas is gone.)_

~

"Erik? Erik!" He was pulled back from his memory by Matze who had placed one hand over Erik's and called his name, his tone frantic, concerned almost. Erik smiled as he looked into the clear eyes and apologised, looking over at Julian.

What he saw was unease, with a hint of … was that jealousy?

Erik allowed himself to reach out for Julian and his hand closed over the warm skin of his hand, pulling it, and Matze’s, to his lips, kissing each softly, lips ghosting over each fingertip slowly. He felt like he was almost reassuring them that this is where he wanted to be, as if he was reassuring himself after the memory of Jonas flashed back to him and didn't leave him entirely untouched.

“What was his name?” Matze asked innocently, palm now flat against his cheek.

“It was Jonas.”

“Hofmann?” A simple word from Julian, laced with an underlying question: _why didn’t you tell us before?_

Erik nodded slowly, eyes apologetic to them both. "It was a one-time thing." He said mutely, trying to explain without expanding too much. "It just kind of happened the night before he left. We weren't together, I guess its best described as friends with benefits, even though it wasn't really like that between us."

"What was it like, then?" Julian asked. Erik pondered for a second and he felt the slight twitch of Julian's hand in his as if he was trying to pull away. Erik held on firmly.

"He was and is my best friend" He said finally, eyes locking with Julian. "We had fooled around a few times before. I wanted to know what it was like and I trusted him and felt safe with him. He was gone the next morning and we never talked about it."

Erik took a deep breath, hoping that he had managed to set Julian at ease. The relief he felt when Julian slightly squeezed his fingers made him smile. There really was no reason for Julian to be jealous of Jonas. Jonas and he were best friends – albeit with a little history – and that was all there was to it. Or was it?

Matze seemed to sense the slight tension on the table and didn't ask about Jonas further. He tugged his hand slightly, pulling out of Erik’s grip and brushed a strand of hair back behind Erik's ear with a smile. “And after him?”

“What do you mean?” Erik asked quietly, eyes flicking to him from Julian.

“Jonas wasn’t your only.” The way he said it was more of a statement than a question and Erik allowed himself to smile at his perceptiveness.

“No, you're right, there were others – well, there was one. I met Jannik in Croatia after the world cup. It was nice and easy with him, the typical holiday fling. We fooled around for two weeks, tried things out and when the holiday was over, we both went our separate ways."

Matze nodded. "And..."

"Yes, he was the first one I topped." Erik forestalled the unspoken question before adding, "And I liked it. But Julian is right, I do like to be fucked." He winked at Julian. "A lot. “ He inched closer to Matze and brought his lips to the younger one's ear. "I hope that, one day, you might want to find out for yourself just how much. “ Erik's words and the hot breath hitting his skin made Matze shudder, furiously blushing at the same time.

Erik leaned back laughing and even Julian had to smile at the sight of Matze being so obviously embarrassed. Erik reached out for Matze again, slightly ruffling his hair but was interrupted by the sound of a mobile ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at the screen. _Jonas._

"I need to take this, I'll be right back." He smiled, standing up slowly, giving Julian's hand one last reassuring squeeze.

"Hi J." He said softly, closing the bedroom door behind him.

"Hey! How've you been?" Jonas sounded cheerful, his voice chirpy and bright as he spoke.

"Oh, good good you know, can't complain." Erik laughed, brushing a hand over the back of his neck as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "You?"

"Great! I've got some news for you."

Erik twitched slightly, his body still a bit tense from the earlier conversation. "I'm coming back when the season finishes. Dortmund want me back."

"That's not great news. It's brilliant!" Erik practically shouted, flopping backwards into the covers, a grin settling onto his face as he gazed at the ceiling with the phone pressed to his ear. "When did you find out?"

"Just now. Aki called the club and said they wanted me back once the loan deal was finished. I'm coming home Erik. I'm so happy."

"Me too, God me too. I feel like I haven't seen you for an age. This is so good Jonas, so fucking good." Erik sighed happily, feet twitching with excitement. "So is it as soon as the season is done, or after a certain date?"

"Technically, it’s the 30th of June, but I think they'll let me come back earlier, because of the injury."

"The earlier, the better. God, Jonas, we have so much catching up to do. We'll have PlayStation and movie nights, BBQs and you'll spend time with us and get to know Julian better and..."

"Breathe Erik." Jonas laughed at the other end of the line and Erik felt a surge of affection for him.

"I just missed you." He admitted, a smile colouring his words.

Jonas' laughter faded and his voice was soft when he answered, "yeah, same.”

They fell silent for a few seconds, listening to the other one breathe before Erik finally said "I need to go J. But I can't wait to have you back. Let me know as soon as you know when you'll be here."

"I will. See you soon Erik."

Erik ended the call with a smile before he stood up again. He paused when he reached the bedroom door, remembering the conversation he just had with Matze and Julian. While Matze had been fine with his revelation, Erik could clearly sense that Julian wasn't.

He wasn't sure whether it was the fact that it was Jonas or that he hadn't told him before, but the result remained the same. Should he really go back now telling him what he'd just learned? On the other hand...he'd have to tell him sooner or later anyway.

Erik sighed and nervously brushed his hair back. This was a new situation for him and he wasn't sure how to handle it. 

When he was back in the kitchen, the decision was taken from him as Julian and Matze looked at him expectantly.

"What's brilliant news Erik?” Matze looked up at him curiously. Erik groaned inwardly. So they had heard him. That wouldn't make things better. But there was no denying it, so he might as well get it over with now.

His eyes fixed on Julian's when he said, "That was Jonas. He'll be back at Dortmund next season.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback in the way of comments and/or kudos help us to write this and are very much appreciated.


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